I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
