Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
