I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
