You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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