this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
