He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
