It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
