i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me I should be a condom model.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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