so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
we're so committed to being not committed
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
