if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
