Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
