I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
