Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
