my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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