Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
