For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
