Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
