He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
