This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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