I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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