it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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