I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
