I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Do vagina's smell?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
