No stitches, just platelets and will power
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
