i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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