Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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