Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
