ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
