quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
