i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
