I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
