I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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