the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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