What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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