her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
