His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
