If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
