so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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