watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
