remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
