is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
