Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
