Plan B is the new Plan A
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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