If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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