Tell her she can't have a vagina
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Im part way to drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
