we have officially lost it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
