he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
