Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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