I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
