Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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