their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ambien. No doubt about it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
