i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
